Posted by: Go Dog Go! | August 3, 2009

HICCUPS, KLEINMAN AND GIRL EATS BURRITO

So the weekend was fun to say the least. A great White Eagle show put on by The Beautiful Train Wrecks on Friday night resulting in the worse case of the hiccups I’ve ever experienced, followed by a sweat soaked ultimate tourney and a little Columbia dip.

My third summer living in Portland and finally I get to partake in the city’s biggest ultimate tournament, Kleinman Eruption. 30 teams from the west coast and even one from Hawaii, battled each other at the end of the hottest week in Portland history. Today is 90, making it 10 days consecutive of 90 and above temps, another record. This, however, was not a reason to stop us all from strapping on the cleats to run around chasing frisbees like crazed monkeys. What fools people must think we are. We wouldn’t want to be any other place doing any other thing. We are ultimate players and NORMALS DO NOT UNDERSTAND!

A couple memorable moments not to be forgotten anytime soon:

  • Sunday, game 3, I’m in on offense. I am playing the dump position when all the sudden noise from the sideline erupted. I turn to find my dog River and another friend dog completely attacking each other. As the play continued on the field, I waited a few seconds to see if the people in the area could break up the dog fight, they couldn’t. The dogs, both leashed to the same cooler, could not be separated for what seemed like a full minute. At this point, feeling responsible, I sprint off the field to help hoping to God no one had already been bitten.  By doing this my team became one man short. At this point we had lost possession of the disc and were now defending and by the time I ran back on the field our opponent had just turned the disc over. I picked up the disc and continued playing offense as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened.  Scary but funny, hardly anyone knew I had left the field to break up a K-9 scuffle over a chewed up tennis ball.
  • After two days of sweating on the ultimate field we took our sunburned bodies to the Columbia River for a swim. A beautiful beachy area just east of Delta Park and just west of Portland International Airport couldn’t have served as a better place to cool off and let the dogs swim. The water was crowded. As I was swimming, not too far from me was a young girl, no more than eight years old and no less than 200 lbs, floating by in a life jacket eating french fries from Burger King. Wow! I’ve seen some interesting things before, but that was downright shocking to me. A few minutes later, the same girl retreats back to shore, and low and behold she enters the water again and starts floating with a full burrito in her hand stuffing her face as if it were the last morsel of nutrition left on earth. It amazes me that her parents, wherever they were, allowed this to happen. Will people ever learn? This poor girl, with a life of obesity ahead of her, I couldn’t help but be saddened at the sight.
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Responses

  1. Because most parents these days are lazy, and expect everyone else to raise their children, and we will all pay for it, when that child you saw (enjoying her gigantor burrito, french fries and triple decker burger) needs to go get a gastric bypass after her senior year in high school. She’ll probably also need to see a psychatrist in a couple of years, because her parent(s) can’t understand why she is so depressed.

  2. Geez, I’d hate to hear what you two really think of me!!!!


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